Church Is Dry
The actual published date is sometime in 2023; near the mid-point of the year I think but I don't remember. Very minor edits, just styling/grammar changes.
Does anyone feel thirsty? I'm sitting there in Sunday class and I'm not being fed. I'm not being taught. I'm being told and re-affirmed things I knew in middle school. Before middle school, even.
As I go through my classical schooling, I think I've realized this isn't my peers or my teachers or even the pastor's fault. This is stuff that's been the same, said and said and said, for decades before I was born. THIS is why Christianity has no movement in America. We're stagnating. I want to ask questions and be answered properly.
Maybe I'm being a bit arrogant but I don't believe some of the concepts I've learned from The Consolation of Philosophy or readings from St. Augustine are present in church.
I edited out the section where I talk about the nature of sin and how badly the modern church talks about sin. I want to make a seperate post talking about that and what I've learned from C.S. Lewis and St. Augustine of Hippo. Same goes for the other subjects I mention, such as the "problem of pain," as C.S. Lewis would call it.
Could any of them speak with me about questions of God and not fall back on "you just do your best and God's got this?" Essentially, telling me that I don't need to worry or even try to understand Him at a fundamental level? Could anyone answer my questions without repeating Bible verses as if they're the answer itself? As if people don't need to deliberate over Scripture and "wrestle with God?"
I'm not saying this to bring myself up. I don't suppose myself to be very smart. That's partially the problem though; I want to learn. I go into church, hungry and thirsty and waiting to be filled, but I leave feeling weary and relieved to leave. I feel like I'm being blunted somehow.
Concepts that I've grown up learning through a classical education aren't present in church. My sparse knowledge and the faith I'm constantly wielding aren't being fought, they're being beaten against a rock that can't spring forth water. I could wax poetic about how terrible the modern church is but the best way to talk bring this to light is just to say that it's terrible. Honestly, it is.
And it's not just the current church my Dad has been bringing us kids to. My Grandparents are "church-hoppers" and it's like this at every single church I've been a part of. Although, maybe it's just the Fundie Baptist circles my Grandparents and parents insist on being a part of. I have a significant amount of "beef" with this particular group of people (isolation, abuse) so maybe my view of what the universal Church is, is warped. Regardless, I desire to be fed by my church and not just books written by dead people. Both are valuable and there are days where I feel my soul is lacking. My family has never been frequent church-goers and yet, at the same time, will not budge on their selection. "You don't need church in order to be a Christian," they say. That's... True, but wrong at the same time, wrong, I feel like.
I hope my experience is a rare one. However, a lot of my classmates are also Christian and it seems that though good churches aren't necesserily rare, there's a significant amount of bad churches. Maybe this will always be the case, as even in the time of Paul, he spent a large majority of his time edifying churches and rebuking them. Regardless, change and hope for better things shouldn't be given up on. God has given me a hunger for a reason and Christians in particular should always aim for excellence and goodness in all things. Whenever it is I move far away from my family, I hope I can find a church and pastor I can learn from and not be suspicious of the community that comes along with it.
This article was last edited 1 month, 2 weeks ago